Doomed Love
by PaperTazuna
Summary: To think of that woman being so defiled by the darkness in her heart, the darkness he could see in her beautiful eyes…


_What time is it...?_

He wished he could turn his head, or step outside to take a look at the sun. Never knowing night or day, never knowing where the golden globe sat in the blue sky, it bothered him.

_Day or not, it matters not_, He remembered. _She will come._

If he had a face left to smile with, he would have. As it was he tried, bearing his broken yellow teeth awkwardly, at the thought of her. She came every day, and though she didn't stay for long, he waited for her all the time.

She was beautiful. He pictured her face clearly in his mind as he so often had before. Her long, raven hair streamed down her back. It was usually tied behind her in a loose ponytail, but there were days she came with it down loose. He loved the way the strands tickled his burned face.

Her face was pale and very pretty, though rather impassive for women. Like every other woman he had ever been attracted to, she had a cute button nose and large eyes with long, dark lashes. Unlike every other woman, she never laughed or grinned or giggled. She was kind, but in a calm and quiet way.

Except for her eyes. It was her eyes that he loved best. They were huge and dark, and so brimming with emotion he felt it wash over him in a wave every time she tended to his broken, useless body. He felt her pain and her sorrow, and her strength that came from it.

She reminded him of himself, in a way. He knew sorrow, he knew hardship. His life had been nothing but. He didn't dwell on that, however. His past was in the past, and not for him to recall.

Despite his resolve, it plagued him some nights. He had nightmares, nightmares in which fire burned, the fire that devoured his village so many years ago blended with the fire in which he had burned, becoming one great, raging mass of flames and pain and terror.

"Onigumo?" A shrill voice called, jerking him out of his reverie. "I'm coming down."

_Whatever._ It was the brat. The brat was _her_ sister. As much as he loved that woman, he couldn't stand the child. Unfortunately, she occasionally sent the brat instead of coming herself. He couldn't stand those days.

_Oh well. Perhaps she'll come later on today._ He knew she wouldn't. He hated the sinking feeling in his heart. Pain bothered him. That was what had first turned him on to banditry. By basking in the thrill of another's pain and terror, it was easier to forget his own.

As the girl approached, the darkness and resentment in his heart grew, resentment that she had been able to cause him new sorrow.

"Where's your pretty sister, bitch?"

"She's busy today." The little girl's movements were quick and businesslike, lacking all the femininity and caring touch her elder sister possessed. God, that woman...he's like to possess _her_.

For a while, he could say nothing, as the brat spoon-fed him gruel. It was the kindness of these sisters that kept him alive. They worked to do everything for him, he didn't have to lift a finger. Almost like a king.

_Hah, a king. A king of filth._

It was the kind of life he would have wanted, people waiting on him nonstop. Provided that he could still move, of course. Being paralyzed was no way to get this. The few things in his life that had brought him joy were forever snatched away. Everything he had known to be pleasure: banditry, running through the early morning forest, liquor and all his companions...these were gone.

But he had her. The girl would come to see him everyday, so long as he was alive. Or almost everyday, at least. She would come again, he would count on that.

Every swallow was a struggle for him, but at last all the gruel was gone and his stomach was full. The brat leapt up quickly. She never did anything more than feed him when she came. Her sister did so much more for him...she was a better servant, indeed.

"Hey brat, don't leave just yet. Tell me where your sister is." Bitch or not, the kid was company. He regretted cussing at her before. He wanted to talk. Although, picturing the anger in _her_ eyes did give him shivers of pleasure...

"My sister is busy."

"Eh? She's a strong one, that girl. She's much more beautiful than any woman I've ever met."

"Of course she's strong," Said the brat shortly, in an infuriating know-it-all tone. "She's protector of the Shikon."

"That's the name of the jewel she carries, isn't it? The jewel that makes evil things more powerful?" He asked. The brat nodded.

Yet another thing he liked about _her_. The jewel she carried could make anyone powerful, and the more evil they were, the stronger they became. It was a wonderful magic indeed. If only he could have that jewel, he could restore his body...and then he could have her.

But it was a dream. He couldn't have the jewel, he couldn't take it from her.

_If only she would drop it into my open hand one day_...he laughed inside at the thought.

"Sister protects it from the bad men," The brat said suddenly.

"Ah, your sister would...maybe one day it will make her bad, too. Have you ever thought of that?" The jewel was evil, after all. Maybe it could make people evil in the same way it made them powerful. To think of that woman being so defiled by the darkness in her heart, the darkness he could see in her beautiful eyes...

The brat looked alarmed. He was enjoying this. Maybe it wasn't so bad that she hadn't shown up today. He was having a little bit of fun, at least.

"One-sama would never become evil."

"To think of her being an evil monster with a dark heart," Onigumo sighed. "It makes me excited. She would be even more beautiful than she is now, beautiful and terrible."

The brat looked absolutely horrified. Exactly the kind of reaction he was expecting. She started backing away from him, towards the mouth of the cave.

"Kikyo One-sama would never be evil!" She shrilled. "And she would never love you! She's in love with a hanyou named Inuyasha, not you! She'll never love you!"

She ran out of the cave, leaving him stunned and confused on the dirt floor.

_Inu...ya...sha? Who is that?_

It had never occurred to him that there could be another man in her life. She was a priestess. Her eyes were so alone that he always thought of her that way. But she since she was stunning, it was easy to expect that she would find someone to love.

He felt so much pain he could barely stand it. He knew that he could never have her, that he was laying unable to move on the floor of a dirty cave while his life trickled away, while she had all the freedoms of any normal person that walked the earth.

Still, he wanted her. He had wanted her for as long as he had known her. He had wanted to be loved. But all he had was care, servitude out of pity. She pitied him, a poor dying loser, and she loved him.

_Inuyasha. I hate that name._

In fact, he could be with her right now. She might be laying in his arms that very moment, this Inuyasha man. A hanyou. It was disgusting. To think that the Kikyo for whom he lusted after would sleep with anyone else, the thought tore at him.

For half the night he lay, broiling with rage and sorrow. He wanted her. He _wanted _her. She should have been his! She was the only thing he had left. He couldn't walk. He had been reduced to arguing with little brats for pleasure. She was the only small measure of happiness he had at all, and Inuyasha was taking her away.

Suddenly, his angry thoughts were drowned out by an overwhelming feeling of evil. One monster knows another, he thought, as he watched the black form creep through the cave mouth towards him.

It was a demon. Another came. How were they coming here?

_Oh, wait...could it be that?_

He recalled something a fellow bandit had told him, a long time ago. If enough evil is concentrated in a person, it can attract demons. He brought the thought of Inuyasha and _her_ back to the surface of his mind, concentrating on it. How much he hated her...betrayal. She had betrayed him, and he wanted her all the more for it.

More and more creatures streamed into the cave. They were all forms and sizes, and they were all demons. Some were shapes he recognized, like snakes or birds or giant insects. Others had human body parts, like heads or arms or eyes, and many looked to be combinations of all manners or beasts.

He was not afraid. Fear was something he had cast aside long ago. His heart was so filled with longing and excitement that no fear could reach it.

"Here I am," He called to them. "And this is what I want: Kikyo. Kikyo, the priestess who guards the Shikon jewel. I know how to find her, and it.. Take me, and you will know too. Take me, and together we can get everything we want!"

He closed his eyes, waiting for it to come. The demons surged at him. The explosions of pain he felt seemed far away, as if they did not belong to him. Pain, he could deal with, if he had to go through it to get what he wanted.

The demons would give him the body he desired. One that could move.

And with it, he would take her.


End file.
